Tottenham Players Are the FPL Equivalent of Dating Someone with "Commitment Issues"
Look, I need to be honest with you lot because someone has to say it — owning Spurs assets right now is like voluntarily signing up for emotional damage every single gameweek. And yet here we all are, staring at Son and Solanke like they're going to suddenly become consistent. They won't.
The problem with Tottenham players isn't talent. It's that Postecoglou's system is basically "vibes and inshallah" dressed up as tactical philosophy. One week Son looks essential, the next he's anonymous while Kulusevski decides he's prime Messi. You simply cannot predict it. I had Solanke for four weeks watching him return 2, 3, 2, blank while costing me nearly 8 million quid. The second I sold him? Brace incoming, probably.
And don't even get me started on their defence. Spurs have conceded in something like 15 of their last 18 matches. Their clean sheet odds are a running joke. So you're basically praying for attacking returns every single week with zero safety net. That's not FPL strategy, that's gambling.
The only exception — and I hate admitting this — is if you're wildcarding and need a differential for a tasty fixture run. But even then, you're choosing chaos. You're choosing sleepless Saturday nights refreshing FPL on your phone going "please just get something, anything."
Arsenal's got momentum, Brighton are steady, even bloody Everton look more reliable right now. Meanwhile Spurs are out here playing basketball and wondering why their FPL ownership is dropping faster than their defensive line.
If you need help figuring out which Spurs asset is least likely to ruin your weekend, fpltouchline.com breaks down the numbers so you don't have to suffer alone.